Bad boys.

My mom is a 4th grade teacher at the "inner city" elementary in our town. Since our town is only about 8000 people, you can imagine the terror that happens there. I get home tonight, and my mom starts relaying the latest trauma on the playground. After school, she was walking to her car and saw two kids on the playground playing with [take a deep breath, this is really shocking] a lighter. Yes kids, you heard me right. A lighter. To make matters worse, the girl had taken a cigarette butt out of the trash and was trying to light it. All the while running around barefoot.

She actually had to call her principal to tell her what was going on, and then asked me what the law says about parents who leave lighters around for their kids to find. I had to hold back my laughter, as I told her that it wasn't illegal for a kid to have a lighter. Then, honest to God, I heard her telling my dad it won't be long until the kids are hiding guns on the playground instead of lighters.

Not only does smoking cause cancer, possessing a lighter leads to serial killers. Consider yourself warned.