Sunday, February 06, 2005

So little potential, so little time.

You know how you're flipping through the channels and you land on a movie you've heard of but never seen, and you watch it for a little while, and after a few minutes you realize how terribly bad it is, but you can't force yourself to turn the channel? It's like a car wreck and you can't look away. Tonight's hypnotic feature was "Here on Earth." For those not familiar, it's the one with the Helen Hunt clone who has to choose between the childhood boyfriend and the new kid before she dies of the disease she has told no one about.

I caught the flick about a quarter of the way through, and it just kept getting worse and worse. Believeability was thrown to the wind and people started crying uncontrolably all the time. Really, how believable is it that she's going to choose that doofbag Chris Klein over Josh Hartnett, especially when according to my calculations, they had spent a combined total of 42 real time minutes together before professing undying love for one another. [Maybe undying isn't the correct descriptive word since Leelee ends up biting it in the end.] And she spends the whole movie running through fields of daisies and mountains and such, only to collapse at a very convenient plot moment and reveal that she has incurable cancer of the knee. And if that's not bad enough, I was subjected to the added character complication that Chris was the rich kid from out of state while Josh was the hometown hick and all that that implies. Sadly, this movie makes that Mandy Moore one from a few years ago look like an Oscar contender.

Sadly, I must admit that I made it all the way to the credits of the movie before shutting off the TV. Though this was because I was hoping it would throw in all the cliches and non-twists they could before they killed her off. And luckily, the movie didn't disappoint.