Wednesday, August 17, 2005

The Timeline

The Coldplay concert timeline (as promised):

6:00 Leave my apartment to drive to the north side. We take the back way to avoid the long lines on I-69.

7:15 Arrive at Verizon and abandon the car. Only neither of us think to look at where we abandoned the car.

7:40 A completely sucktastic band starts playing the opening act. We only understood 3 words the whold set. We could understand "run" as in the chorus "run run ruuun run runnn run" etc, except the word could very well have been "fluh", we'll never know. And the other 2 words were "Vancouver Canada" as in after every song they said, "We're (unintelligible and likely dorky band name) from Vancouver Canada." I kid you not when I say that all 5 members, 4 guys and a girl, had the exact same hairstyle; shoulder length and wavy. Then the chick starts playing something that looks like a green plastic milk carton with a tube sticking out. We later determined that it must have been her water bottle. Otherwise, I just lost more respect for them.

[After looking them up, I see we weren't the only ones with this opinion. From a concert review a few days before our concert (the reviewer is even Canadian):
Supporting Coldplay as an unknown band to mainstream pop fans is a thankless task. But that’s exactly what Vancouver's Black Mountain faced, as a half capacity A.C.C. were subjected to their set. First track "Don't Run Our Hearts Around" went down very well, but by the third track, the impatient Coldplay fans had lost interest. Black Mountain do have an atmospheric output suited to the big arena, but it sounded too much like they were jamming in their dad's garage, ignoring the 7,000 or so people listening.]

Ooh, and the title of this VHI Article sums it up nicely: Who Are Black Mountain — And Why On Earth Are They Touring With Coldplay? Vancouver quintet's heavy sound seems likely to horrify Coldplay fans.

8:30 Sucky opening act plays their last 12 minute "song" and the 15 year old guys next to us express everyone's sentiment that we hope they aren't just playing with us and are actually leaving.

9:10 Coldplay takes the stage.

9:45 Coldplay, having exhausted their mainstream songs, launches into a variety of slow songs that no one knows. The bathroom/beer lines quadruple in length.

9:52 K and I realize that neither of us paid any attention to where we parked. We decide to worry about that later.

10:30 Coldplay plays their last song. They leave the stage and pretend they're done for the night while the stage crew is clearly tuning their instruments for the encore.

10:38 During the encore, Chris Martin leaves the stage and runs through the crowd. He's so close to us his sweat could possibly have splattered on us.

10:45 K and I leave during the last song and head to the car.

10:50 K and I are walking amongst about 1500 cars trying to find hers. She has no car alarm, and the several hundred other fans are already using this technique to find their cars.

11:02 We find the car.

11:15 While still waiting to get out of our parking spot, a fight erupts between passengers of the car in front of us. Unfortunately, for our entertainment's sake, it breaks up before the punches are thrown.

11:35 Still waiting in our spot, it starts to rain. Cars start cutting through the rows to get to another line.

11:55 K and I are getting impatient. We haven't moved from our spot and are completely blocked in by cars pointing in every direction. Drivers with a sense of entitlement try jumping the line and cutting people off.

12:35 After several close calls, dumbass drivers who cut us off and then won't let us out of our spot, we finally make it out of the lot.

1:00 K and I satisfy our Steak and Shake cravings. Our waiter thinks he's working at the Tavern on the Green, NYC. He's so proper and keeps addressing us in complete, and proper sentences. "Good evening ladies. I apologize for the delay. May I start your dinner with a beverage."

1:30 We finish our meals.

1:35 Waiter asks if we want dessert. We decline and wait on our bill.

1:38 Waiter again asks if we want dessert. We again decline.

1:42 Waiter just wants to be sure we don't want dessert.

1:46 Waiter pleads with us to buy dessert.

1:50 Waiter's supervisor comes to see if we want dessert. We decline, again, and then he asks us if he can get us anything. We say the bill, and he finally gets it.

And that was the end of the night. K drove me back home and then apparently almost fell asleep a few times on the drive back to her place. We decided that for our Jack Johnson concert in a couple of weeks, we're splurging and getting the $20 VIP parking pass. Reserved spot, and they let us out first? We're there.