FTQ's

I've been meaning to do a Frequently Asked Questions post for a while now. Only no one ever really asks these questions, so I'm calling it the Frequently Thought Questions instead. If anything you've ever pondered isn't included in this list, let me know and I will promptly add it to the list if I deem it worthy.

Where did the name "Waiting for the Punchline" come from?
Back in college, I told my roommate that if I ever wrote a book, I'd make it an autobiography and title it "Waiting for the Punchline" because my life was/is so boring and stagnant that it seems like God was playing a joke and the punchline was coming. And I'm still waiting for it. Apparently there's a band or an album out there by the same name, but that is not what inspired the name. Also, any claims by my roommate that she copyrighted the title are false since we law school students know it's a trademark, not copyrightable, and since I put it to use first, it's all mine.

Why do you call your town 'the Jesus Town'?
Since I live in such a small town and have been known to have stalkers fans in the past, I try to be a little secretive about some things. Anyone in possession of an IU-Indy issued stalker book could easily find me, though I can assure them that there really is nothing to see here and wouldn't be worth your trip. The 'Jesus Town' name came via Kelly P. I was raised in a very conservative, religious household, which she dubbed the Jesus House. It caught on, and I just started applying the Jesus adjective to anything in my life. [The Jesus Town, the Jesus Family, the Jesus Church, etc.] And yes, I still am very religious, but not always to the same extent as I was raised.

Why do you still live with your parents?
After I graduated college, I lived in the 'big city' for 2 years and decided my life had too little conflict, so to add more stress to my life, I moved home. And it doesn't hurt that I save money and don't have to pay rent, groceries, etc. But there are always pros and cons to living at home. For a while, my dad was making my lunch for me every morning before I left for school. Then he un-retired himself and left me to my own lunch-making duties and he moved from the pro to the con list. And my parents have a hot tub, which counters about 10 things on the con side.

Why don't you give your parents the address of this blog?
[Note: the FTQs were written prior to my parents knowing of the blog. They now visit frequently and even guest post. But since this was an original FTQ, I'm leaving the response in the archives for posterity's sake.] Re-read the Jesus Town answer and consider that my mother did a search for "christian blogs" the other day and was offended that some of the blogs used 'bad language'. I prefer to be able to speak freely and not censor my topics or phrasings because I know my mommy's reading it. Plus, my parents are the overly-involved type that every post would have to be disected and discussed in depth to determine whether I was being sarcastic or serious, and I just don't want to go through that. Out of respect for my mother's request, I have tried to refrain from posting anecdotes about their lives that they may find embarrassing. But I do enjoy that it bugs her that "strangers" get to read my blog but she can't.

Why has your blog sucked lately?
Well, I can't ever pinpoint a time when my blog didn't suck. But after reviewing old posts, I think it's definitely gone down in quality. Part of this is because of the aforementioned resolution to talk about my parents less, and part of it is that I'm uninspired. I often think of things to write, but then forget about them till days later, and by that time they are neither funny nor interesting, so I don't post. And the forecast predicts more uninspired and boring posts in the future. I apologize in advance.

Will you marry me?
Please take the following quiz and mark all statements that apply to you:

__ I am currently not married.
__ I am male.
__ I am not on the sex offender registry in any state.
__ I have a net worth that rivals that of Bill Gates.
__ I believe that 'Sports Night' was one of the best shows ever on television.
__ I believe that 'Seinfeld' was one of the worst and most annoying shows ever on television.
__ I have seen 'Hoosiers' at least a dozen times.
__ I look good in a baseball hat.
__ I believe that in any argument (1) the woman is always right, or (2) the woman should be allowed to believe she is always right.
__ I am Matt Damon.

Scoring:
10 The wedding is tomorrow.
8 to 9 Maybe after a long engagement.
6 to 7 Maybe after a lot of alcohol.
4 to 5 It's not looking good.
<4 No.