Taking the fall.

I've had that gnawing feeling in my stomach today that I just can't shake. It's that feeling that you've forgotten to do something really important, or that you've done/said something and you keep reliving the moment in your head. It's very hard for me to let go of things. I still get that feeling when I remember things I said and did when I was 10. It's one of my worst qualities, and I'm the first to admit it. Even the joy of voting with the new electronic voting machines couldn't better my mood.

But I know exactly what the feeling is from today, and I need to keep telling myself that there's nothing I can do about it now. I'm fairly certain that I bombed the PR exam. Maybe not all out failed but low C range. At random points in the day I would remember a question, and then convince myself that I answered that one wrong. When there's only 30 multiple choice questions, it doesn't take too many to put you over the edge. I have never been steller at multi-choice exams, as I was a Sociology major and perfected the art of bullshitting in undergrad. You can't BS too well filling in bubbles.

But it's done, and no matter how much I try to reassure myself, I'm not going to feel better until the grade is up. And at that point I may feel worse. Though I say "I'm going to fail" a lot, I always meant that in a "I didn't do as well as I could have." When I say it now, it means, I don't know if I'll be taking this course again.

Anyway, I just needed to vent my thoughts. And if you don't like reading them, too bad. It's my blog and I'll bitch if I want to.