Eligible no more.

One of the NFL's most eligible batchelors is off the market. [Well he may not technically be off the market, but he has been moved to a higher shelf where you'll need the assistance of a store employee with one of those poles to reach him.]

The highly delectable Tom Brady is reportedly dating actress/model/luckiest girl in the world Bridget Moynahan. Some of you may remember her as John Cusack's jilted fiancee in the less than successful Serendipity, or as Natasha, again as a jilted fiancee on Sex and the City. Appropriately her next project is entitled Hating Her. Details are scarce as to how long the two have been together but, in my opinion, she is leagues ahead of Brady's ex (as rumor has it) Tara Reid. Moynahan left her boyfriend, a screenwriter, who ironically, is a huge Patriots fan to be with Brady. Frankly, I'd leave myself if I thought that meant I had a chance at him.

In observance of this sad revelation, I'm going to lock myself in my room and watch old tapes of Michigan football games. It's times like these I'm thankful that I have an obsessed father who insists on keeping old football games.