Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Are you there God? It's me, Heidi

Dear God,

I realize this is a busy time of year for you. I mean, billions of more prayers to contend with as well as all of those holiday Christians coming out of the woodwork. You know the ones. The ones who haven't stepped foot in a church since Christmas, but come out now to pray for salvation and the gift of deception to sneak past the IRS. Afterall, it is tax season.

In addition to that, there's Easter as well taking up much of your attention. And I believe this holiday is the root of my problems this week. You see, I'm not entirely sure why, but you seem to have the seasons mixed up today. Christmas is the one with the snow. Easter is the one with the blooming flowers. Which is why I don't understand why it was flurrying today. When I left work yesterday, it was a balmy 82 degrees. This morning, it was 28. Maybe you were just dyslexic today? Don't worry, it happens to the best of us. If I had a nickel for every time I've inverted my own phone number... well, suffice to say you'd have a lot fewer prayers from me asking that I be able to find some way to pay the rent.

But whatever the reason, I'm perfectly content to get back to our regularly scheduled programming. I know the saying is "If you don't like the weather in Indiana, wait a day and it will be different." I'm pretty sure it's a joke and we're not to take it literally. Then again, I'd prefer the cold to the nasty storming we had late yesterday afternoon. As my lights kept flickering, I tried to remember the last time I said "If I'm lying, may God strike me down" and hoped you weren't taking me literally on that. Because, seriously. That lightening scared me.

Best wishes,

P.S. No blasphemy intended.