Things I've learned in the last month that I'm sure will be as surprising to you as they were to me.

AKA: I make really dumb mistakes all of the time.

1. Green bean casserole does not stay as fresh on the counter overnight as it would in the fridge. In fact, if it's in a sealed Pyrex dish, when you find it the next morning and open it, chances are high that it will smell like death. Against my better judgment, I gaggingly cleaned it out instead of scrapping the whole thing and spending another 11 dollars to just replace it.

2. A recorked bottle of wine is not leak proof. When it falls over in the fridge it will slowly leak through the corkscrew hole onto everything you own in the fridge. Even if it's on the bottom shelf, it will somehow waft up to the upper shelves just to make your life even more annoying.

3. A shirt does not protect from heat as well as an oven mitt. Also, burning your nipple on a hot pan on the stovetop is the most searing pain you've ever felt in your life. Please trust me on this one and don't try it out for yourself.