Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Making a Statement

My brother quit his job at Rural King the other day. I've provided the link for those of you who aren't blessed enough to have one near you. Apparently they kept giving him flak for his earring. Now I must say, I am partial to the earring since I took him, against my parents wishes, to get it done. And it's just a small diamond stud in his upper ear, not that noticable. But anyway, they told him to lose the earring. Apparently jewelry appendages and tractor accessories don't mix. So he did what any reliable 23 yr old would do. He quit.

Now he thinks he's making some sort of statement about his 1st amendment rights. I think he's now unemployed and Billy Bob Joe has taken his place stocking fertilizer on aisle 12, while the manager still doesn't know how to spell my bro's name on his last pay check.

But I'm just the older sister, what would I know? Here's to freedom of speech in minimum wage jobs.

Monday, October 27, 2003


Aw, damn it all. I just had my entire post typed up, and the computer malfunctioned. So here we go again.

I'm a band geek to the core. So when my family decided to go to the state band finals this weekend, I was in. Now I don't get obsessed about it sinc eI don't know anyone else in it anymore, and how they do doesn't really matter. But I was a little surprised at the results.

My alma mater tends to place in the top 5 most of the time, and we've won the whole thing about 8 times in the last 15 yrs. This weekend however we placed 4th. Which is good except for the disturbing fact that 4 out of the 6 judges had our band ranked 1st, 1 had them 2nd, and 1 had them 6th. So a panel of 6 judges is actually reduced to one judge determining the outcome. Something is seriously screwed up with the judging system. The band that won didn't have a single 1st placing and in fact had 3 3rds.

I just feel bad for the kids in the band who put forth a year of hard work and should have walked away with a state championship, and instead walked away with the taste of sour grapes. And now I'll step off of my soap box.

Thursday, October 23, 2003

4th and inches.

Short entry tonight since I have a football injury. Ok, so I just stubbed my finger in practice tonight, but still, it hurts like hell and my finger is the size of a sausage. If you wonder which position I play, it's "girl". 9 players 3 have to be girls. And my team has 22 players, only 2 of which are girls. Not to mention that some of the guys played college football. Which means, my job is to get the hell out of their way. Don't you just love coed sports.

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

Cuckoo's Nest

While I was getting ready this morning, I had the Today Show on in the background. I happened to tune in when they were interviewing Shirley MaClaine and her dog. "Why her dog?" you ask. Simple. Because the dog cowrote a book with her of course.
I'll give you a second to read that sentence again. You see, apparently Shirley would write a chapter, then the dog would write a chapter through her. And of course the dog would only write about how wonderful Shirley is.

So my cats and I decided we are going to sit down later this week and write a book together. Of course they all want to write about what a great humanitarian, and intelligent human being I am. And who am I to stop them? But see, I have an advantage over Shirley. I have 3 cats. And we all know there's credibility in numbers.

Shirley told Matt Lauer that she was perhaps a bit eccentric. I'll do you one better, Shirley. You're a loon. I'll be sure to make a donation to a mental hospital in your name and hopefully you'll be there to greet it when it gets there.

Monday, October 20, 2003


I don't know what it is, but I just love meaningless trivia. The other day when I knew I was going to go see Radio I did what I always do and checked out Do you know who Cuba Gooding, Jr.'s father is? Cuba Gooding, Sr. Imagine that. Ok, no really, his dad is the lead singer for "The Main Ingredient" who had one song that I know. "Everybody plays the fool". Come on now, sing it with me.

Everybody plays the fool,
There's no exception to the rule.
(in high falsetto) Listen Baby
It may be factual it may be cruel.
Oooh Oooh Oooh Oooh.

Ok, I don't know about you but I need to watch the high notes. They're killing me.

Friday, October 17, 2003

Insides Out

I went with my Mom to her school this afternoon to pick up some things. I wasn't prepared for what I saw in her room. Apparently her class, the 4th Grade, is studying the digestive system. They had a project that was color by number of the stomach and intestines. Only the intestines aren't wrapped up like you normally see them, but instead are strung out in a 16-18 foot line. So hanging from her ceiling were 18 stomachs with intestines strung out across the room. And if that wasn't 'eww' enough, they had to paste little phrases onto the project explaining what function it did. So one of the phrases was "unused food passes out of the body in the form of a bowel movement." Double eww. I'm going to have nightmares for a week.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

Truth is stranger than fiction.

The Smoking Gun is perhaps the most ingenious web site out there. They've got a lot of cool stuff for when you're bored out of your mind. Which I'd never admit to of course. But tonight I found a couple of things that are funny, and probably of interest to my law school colleagues. They gave me a laugh at least. First is the law student with an inventive idea. Wish I would have thought of this.. And second are the letters written by the public telling the Judge in the Kobe Bryant case how do decide. Don't you love democracy.

Monday, October 13, 2003

Revival of a show.

Must blog to let everyone know that I love James Spader. I never even used to watch the practice, except periodically when nothing else was on, but he lured me into it with the promo for the first ep this season. Getting rid of half that cast sure made the show a lot better. Now I don't have to sit through Lindsey, Dylan, and Jack's ex go through their whole love triangle thing. Give me more Spader. Mmm.

Going to sit back and enjoy my week off. And by sit back I mean I will be cleaning, moving things around, packing, unpacking, and doing anything and everything that I haven't done for the last 6 months. Someone help me.

Sunday, October 12, 2003

The truth shall set you free.

I felt mildly guilty after insinuating yesterday that Hayden wasn't a good actor. And I now feel I must correct my statement. I watched Life As A House again last night, and fell in love all over again. From now on we're just going to pretend that that horrible stint called Star Wars hasn't tainted me. I'm really looking forward to Shattered Glass to see how he really does perform.

On a grosser note, those nasty ass bean beetles are back in Indiana. And right now, I have 15 of them congregating in a corner above my bed. I can't look up there because I want to hurl. I have this phobia about things in swarms and I've really got the heebie jeebies. It's all part of my OCD I swear. I'd go get the vacuum but it's 1:15 a.m. and I doubt the parents would appreciate that. So tonight I'm just exercising my powers of ignoring.

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

Why men should not lead the world.

I'm getting sick of the jewelry commercials which insist on portraying women as selfish, whiny, bitches. Really, have we come so far only to be put back into our place. Let me summarize the one I heard on the radio tonight.

Your skanky girlfriend will only say 'yes' if you spend half your salary on a rock the size of Neptune. Because she, like all women, only wants you for one thing. And it ain't the sex. But rest assured, the bigger the rock, the bigger the satisfaction you get when rip it off her finger in divorce court because the slut is banging your best man. You knew you couldn't trust either of them anyway. A woman is nothing until she has a man to take care of her. A woman's wedding day is the only day in her life where she will keep her big mouth shut for longer than 10 minutes and you're sure to get some at the end of the 'date', even if she's only putting out because she thinks she's legally required. So come to our jewelry store and drop some dough on a ring that will never be big enough, shiny enough, or cost enough for her ho-bag taste. Because after all, size really does matter.

Ok, I kinda paraphrased since I don't remember the exact words. But damn, do we really need the jewelry stores scaring the men into believing that all women are shallow, money-hungry, whores? It's hard enough to find a good man (or any man) in this world that I don't need them scared before I even get there. I'm really close to writing a nasty letter and mailing it to them.

Oh, and if my future husband is reading this: 1+ carat, platinum band, engraved with words of your undying love, from Tiffany's or you ain't gettin anywhere near, under, or next to my nice white dress.

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

50 Questions

1. Your name spelled backwards.
Idieh. Kinda catchy.
2. Where were your parents born?
Michigan and Indiana
3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Probably an Andy Roddick clip.
4. What's your favorite restaurant?
5. Last time you swam in a pool?
At camp this summer. (I was working not a camper, der)
6. Have you ever been in a school play?
Not a school play, but a Church one. Same humiliation, older audience.
7. How many kids do you want?
8. Type of music you dislike most?
9. Are you registered to vote?
Of course.
10. Do you have cable?
Yes, but not the best. No premium channels dammit.
11. Have you ever ridden on a moped?
No, but have made fun of those who have.
12. Ever prank call anybody?
Uh, maybe.
13. Ever get a parking ticket?
Who knew you couldn't park next to hydrants?
14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
Sky diving, yes. Bungee, hell no. You can actually see the ground when you jump from there.
15. (As added by Rach) What habit would you like to kick?
Pessimism. Ah, that's what you all love about me.
16. Do you have a garden?
Not mine, but my overly obsessed Mom makes me help take care of hers.
17. What's your favorite comic strip?
Far Side. RIP
18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
Absolutely. I also know the Preamble to the Constitution. Wanna hear it?
19. Bath or Shower, morning or night?
Shower in the morning and some nights. I’m a clean person.
20. Best movie you've seen in the past month?
Murder by Numbers
21. Favorite pizza topping?
Canadian Bacon
22. Chips or popcorn?
23. What color lipstick do you usually wear?
Nutmeg. Or the gloss is Glimmer.
24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
Is that code for something?
25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
Um. No.
26. Orange Juice or apple?
Low acid Orange
27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine?
With 2 classmates to Fridays. It’s across the street from school. The only choice.
28. Favorite type chocolate bar?
3 Musketeers. Butterfinger. Do I really need to answer.
29. When was the last time you voted at the polls?
Every chance I can.
30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
Last month. Amazing since I don’t eat tomatoes
31. Have you ever won a trophy?
Yes. Group ones, individual ones, meaningless ones.
32. Are you a good cook?
If I answer yes it may obligate me to cooking for someone.
33. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
Yes. Have to every other day.
34. Ever order an article from an infomercial?
Article? What are we British?
35. Sprite or 7-up?
Tropical Sprite
36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? how about school?
Work yes.
37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?
38. Ever throw up in public?
Only if an emergency med facility waiting room is public.
39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
True love with a billionaire.
40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Lust at first sight. Takes a while to get me to love you.
41. Ever call a 1-900 number?
42. Can ex's be friends?
43. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
My parent’s friend who is like my second dad.
44. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby?
Until I chopped it off.
45. What did you eat today?
Cup of potato soup, chicken finger BLT sandwich
46. What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character?
The one where the guy runs around…. Ok, I don’t know
47. What was the name of your first pet?
Jed. (please, hold your comments)
48. What is in your purse?
I’m in a suit today, so fancy purse that holds only my wallet, lip gloss, and sunglasses.
49. Favorite thing to do before bedtime?
Set the alarm.
50. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
That this class is only 2 hours long.

Trouble on the Home front.

Last night I was kneeling on my bed for some time, and I got up to move across the room to get something, and as I stood up, legs completely gave out. It was a weird "I feel like I'm paralyzed and can't feel anything from the waist down" feeling. So of course, I just got back into bed. Then tried it a few minutes later and my left knee kept locking backward. Which it probably didn't help that I slipped on some water last week and bruised my kneecap. I used to be able to do the splits when I was 5. Newsflash. I'm not 5 anymore and it hurt like hell in a handbasket.

My brother's cat (which is essentially my cat since I do everything for it) apparently took up pissing all over the house yesterday. Luckily we caught him before he really had the chance. We think he has a bladder infection. Which means more fun times for me.

And my aunt is coming down this week. My dad and mom have turned into cleaning machines. By that I mean they yell at me constantly to do something or other. I don't think they ever got the concept that since I moved back home, I have more shit than I have space for. Since my old bedroom was converted into everyone's storage after I moved out, I live in my brother's old room. (pound puppies on the wall and all) And I have tubs and tubs of stuff that I don't really want to get out (like we really need to use my set of dishes or candles, or picture frames, etc). Ok, out of class so I can't write more, by that I mean I can't think of anything funny to use in conclusion.

Thursday, October 02, 2003

Tally ho good chaps.

Bored in class. As per usual. And dammit if mspooh doesn't have me one click away from checking out flights on expedia. But I'm fighting the urge. Really, I am.

So to bide my time I found out my Oz Prison Name. From now on I'm Stubby to all you punks. Now get out of my face Bitch. (sorry, just practicing).

Ok, so no more of the name generators. Got a few people hooked on it in Con Law and 'ass muncher' couldn't keep his laughter to himself. It's all fun and games until someone gets called on. And that someone better not be me dammit.