Freezing my Assets off.

Went to lunch with a few friends today, and they (one in particular) was snickering at my lack of internet in the offices. It's been 3 dang days already and it's killing me. Later, I commented about how they haven't figured out the thermostat and it's freezing in my office. To which said friend (i.e. Chuck) asked if we were working in this century.

I got back to the office after lunch and they had shut off the electricity in all of the lawyers' offices. No comment.

Legano ni legano: tis grey area.

I came *this close* to being pulled over tonight. Driving down a 2 lane street (i.e. 1 lane in each direction) and came upon a car waiting to turn left. After sitting for a couple of minutes, I did what we all do every day, and passed him on the shoulder. There was like 8 feet of shoulder and no turn in on my side of the road. As I was passing him there was a cop sitting in the lane headed the other direction, and he used his light on the side of the car to shine it in my face as I drove by.

Then he turns on his flashers and pulls forward to the next turn around place. I see this all through my rearview. At the light, I turn left, because I was turning left anyway (I swear) and I couldn't tell if the cop actually turned around or not. I kept my eyes on the rearview for the next mile or so, but never saw him again. And, to my advantage, if he was quick enough to write down my plates, which are registered only to me, and pull my license, he'll see that I've never been pulled over. (Disregarding the driveway incident a couple of years ago which resulted in only a warning). So I'll sleep fine tonight.

All I kept thinking as I saw those flashers is how I wish I had a fancy deputy prosecutor badge to shine him when he did pull me over. I guess the law school plate holder will have to suffice.

Helping Hands

As some of you may know, my office at work moved over the holiday weekend. Not the office itself, but the contents. You get the picture. Without much detail, let me just say that moving a law office is not for the sane. We, of course, are not up and running yet as phones and internets tend to be a problem.

Today we did a lot of organizing and figuring out where things go. When I personally move, I tend to throw things in the nearest drawer or closet and mess with them later. Doesn't really work the same in this situation.

Our office manager's husband took his vacation day to help us move some of the bigger stuff that the movers didn't have in the right place. At one point, he hit the lobby to carry up a bunch of stuff from someone's car. Only there was more than he had thought and he couldn't leave it down there unattended while he made the trips up the elevator. Instead, he phoned up for help and needed anyone who was free to come down. So he said, "This is an All-Skate". Which, at the time was so stinking hilarious that I'm using that from now on instead of my "All hands on deck" phrase.

And if this loses something in the translation, I apologize. Maybe you had to be there.

I know I'm getting old, but

I tease that I'm getting old as my 28th birthday is only about 5 weeks away. But I didn't think I'd be getting my first mailing from the AARP yet. But I did.

The letter says, "Our records show that you haven't yet registered for the benefits of AARP membership, even though you are fully eligible.... you'll have the resources and information you need to get the most out of life over 50."

I have no words.

Fraternal Shoes

I went to work today wearing 2 black shoes. It was only as I was walking from the parking garage to the office that I realized I was not wearing the same 2 black shoes. I saw my right foot out of the corner of my eye and thought, 'I didn't put on my shoes with the buckle today.' And when I looked to my left foot, I realized that at least I didn't on that foot. One was square toed with a 2 inch heel and the other was round toed with more of a clog look. It was pretty, really.

Paraphrased Quotes of the Week

I'm sure no one will find these quotes as funny as I did and they probably lose something in the delivery.

Quote #1: Hugh Laurie on the Tonight Show talking about flying in 2-seater military planes.

"If you miss the vomit bag, they make you clean it up yourself. And it's not like puking on your kitchen floor, it's like puking into the back of a television set. You're going to be there forever."

Quote #2: Bright and his mother, Rose, on Everwooddiscussing how he's going to change now that his girlfriend is leaving.

Bright: "Let's face it, I've been an asshat most of my life, when she leaves, I'll probably convert back to it."

Rose: "Revert. Convert and your making asshattery into a religion."

On the Menu

"An optional 15% gratuity will be added to parties of 8 or more."

I don't think optional is the word they were looking for here.

Pet Peeve Time Again

Prolly does not equal Probably.

Sadly, I believe this is ignorance and not just some internet shorthand.

Reading Comprehension

I'll admit that there are some days I hate wearing my glasses. I probably should be wearing them the entire time I'm at work, but some days they bug me and I just never put them on. I'm not blind or anything, but sometimes things do get a bit blurry.

I was using a desktop version of Lexis today to try to get the legal name for a corporation I was listing in a settlement agreement. Apparently this particular corporation is very prolific and Lexis would not run the search because it was likely to return too many records. So it gave me a little message telling me that and telling me about the charges.

What it actually said: You will not be charged for this stopped query.

What I thought it said: You will not be charged for this stupid query.

For a moment I thought Lexis had taken it upon itself to return the many insults I've directed it's way over the last 3 years.

Crying Game

Ok, don't worry, this isn't a sad post. Need to clarify that for people who will become queasy at the topic [specifically I'm referring to you, Amanda :)]

I always get a little sad when approaching animals on the road that have been hit. I always try not to look so that I don't see them and then have that image branded on my mind. Usually, I utter a sad, "oh" and get depressed for a moment. Recently, however, I've noticed that I may need to pay closer attention to lumps in the middle of the road. Last week I damn near choked up twice for what turned out to be discarded t-shirts. And don't even get me started about how many tears I've almost shed over shredded tires.